He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint. He lives to silence all my fears. He lives to wipe away my tears. He lives to calm my troubled heart. He lives all blessings to impart. He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend. He lives and loves me to the end. He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing. He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King. Samuel Medley, “I Know that My Redeemer Lives” Sacrament Meeting, July 2014, New York City. My husband and I had brought our 18-year-old daughter on a trip to do some sightseeing for a few days and we wanted to make sure we attended church as part of our Sunday activities. It was a Fast Sunday and thus we were privileged to hear members of the local congregation bear their testimonies. This meeting was a bit unlike any other testimony meeting I had attended; it had been a spring and summer of turmoil among some members of the Church, and many of the testimonies borne referred to these events in some way. Several members spoke of the pain they were experiencing as they tried to understand the doctrines and revelations of the Restoration. One sister’s testimony particularly resonated with me. She had a professional demeanor and was articulate and sophisticated; but it was her simple statement near the beginning of her remarks that stayed with me: “I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. And sometimes that’s the only thing that I know.” Some months later, as we sang a beloved and familiar hymn in sacrament meeting, my thoughts returned as they had many times before to the struggle we all have to keep our testimonies burning bright, to “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling” despite the philosophies of the day and the trials we may experience. I have been especially distressed to see some of our own family members’ convictions grow weak. But as we sang, the Spirit whispered these truths to me: just because we have the fullness of the gospel on the earth today, restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith by God and Jesus Christ, it doesn’t mean anyone has all the answers. We are all expected to live by faith, including those of us who have knowledge of the restored gospel. As we strive to live by faith, it helps to remember that we are a people who believe in continuing and personal revelation, who believe in asking questions and seeking answers. But in the asking, we need to be careful. When we ask, are we that “truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness” (Alma 27:18)? Or do we ask because we want to be the first ones to figure out a certain thorny issue, to be the ones who can tell others that “this is the way it is,” even when those others are local Church leaders or the prophet? Are we seeking to know things to be more “learned,” or are we seeking to build our testimony and increase our faith? Additionally, when we ask, are we prepared to take no for an answer, or—sometimes worse—the answer: “Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth” (D&C 50:40). Strangely enough, we can’t increase our faith and humility by knowing all of the answers right now. Having faith and knowing something are really two different things. As Alma explained, “And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know” (Alma 32:34). As I continued to sing the hymn that Sunday, I felt again the weight and meaning of the simple testimony given in New York City: “I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior.” Sometimes knowing that Jesus Christ is the Savior is the only thing we know. Sometimes nothing else makes sense in the moment. Sometimes we don’t understand; our souls complain; our fears grow; and our hearts are troubled. But it’s the most important thing to know. I feel that every day. I know He is there. I know He gave each of us the gift of the Atonement to help us on our earthly journey, even when we see through a glass darkly and when our steps are faltering. He is my kind, wise, heavenly Friend. He hears my complaints. He silences my fears and soothes my troubled heart. He knows our needs, our questions, and our seeking, even when we ourselves aren’t sure what we are looking for. He knows. I certainly don’t know everything myself. But I walk by faith. And “I believe in Christ so come what may.” --Kara |
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